Thursday, March 8, 2012

Speechless

Hi everyone! It's been a long while since I've blogged or even sent out a mass email thanks to facebook, so please bare with me...I'm a little rusty at writing lengthy stories. Some of the following information you may or may not already know, but I want to catch everyone up to speed with my current life.


I'm still living in Southern California working as a Behavior Autism Interventionist in a preschool classroom and I could not be ANY happier with my job. It's the school district and position I have been seeking before leaving Texas. I am still happily dating the man I fell over hills for, thus making the decision to move here (March 14 will be 3 years since we first met). I recently got involved with CrossFit, and boy let me tell you, I AM HOOKED! I absolutely love the competition and challenge the CrossFit community breeds. In addition to all this, we happily have 3 cats, a dog and a chinchilla (yes, we have a zoo! Admission is free to those who bring a bottle of wine or a case of beer.) So that's the "reader's digest" version of my life the past 3 years. Ok, enough with the small talk. This is the real reason why I set up a blog...


It all started back in January, I was stretching before leaving to go workout. I had done a million (ok, not really. It was more like 200 hundred, no joke.) push-ups the previous day, and my chest was a bit sore needless to say. While stretching, I noticed a hard knot that was quite tender. I tried to roll it out...didn't work. I laid off all chest exercises....still there. Hmmm, must be a pulled or injured muscle. After about 4 weeks, and when my health insurance finally kicked in, I decided to schedule my "yearly" women's appointment. The OBGYN took a look at it and decided to refer me to get a mammogram and ultrasound done. I was a little caught off guard but just went with the flow. Mammogram, done. Ultrasound, done. The tech excused herself to get the Radiologist, which had a very concerned look on her face when she walked in the room. She took at look at my "results" and immediately ordered I get a biopsy done...not one, but TWO. At this point, I'm still like "ok, whatever, let's do it."


Monday, March 6, I go in for the two biopsies. Let me tell you, I had a little anxiety attack when I saw the thickness of the hollow needles. Took a picture, texted it to Trevor whom was in the waiting room, and he did the best thing anyone could have done. He started texting me pictures of our zoo to help ease my anxiety. :) The procedure wasn't that bad since they used a local anesthesia. I wasn't too sore since I immediately began taking Tylenol. Now the waiting game.


Wednesday, March 7, I wake up with optimism and ready for my appointment to reveal the results of the biopsy. Since I don't have any family out here, Trevor went with me and I was allowed to have my family on speaker phone while the doctor revealed the results. The next part made me feel like I was in a twilight zone. The two biopsy's both had cancer in them. My heart sank, stomach knotted up, covered my face, tears flowed, and all I could muster out was "I just want my mom here. I want my family here. NOW." From that point on, I felt like Charlie Brown listening to his teacher. Everything was blurred, and I think I went through every emotion possible in 45 minutes. The doctor and nurse were very supportive, positive and caring. 


So, the next step is an MRI. Once I get the MRI done, it will tell us more about the two cancerous spots (type and stage). I am currently waiting for authorization from insurance and the OBGYN in order to proceed with the MRI. So for now, I am just waiting and still in a state of shock and disbelief. The hardest part is being so far away from family and my closest friends. I'm more scared than anything...if that's hard to believe.


I know I haven't returned any phone calls the past day, but I've but just overwhelmed and trying to sort out my life. All the the thoughts, prayers, supportive words are GREATLY appreciated and continuely needed as I go along this journey. I am going to try my best to keep up with this blog to inform everyone on my progress and determination. I be damned if I am going to let this interfere with my goals! So, until next time.... 


XO,
Ally




  

8 comments:

  1. This is super heavy! But I believe in you! Geoff and I stand behind you 100% of the way!
    Hopefully this is all caught early! But should you have to get chemo, you are gonna be the hottest short haired momma in the world.
    I kid. But you are so brave already. You stared that needle in the face! Haha!
    Let's kick some cancer ass!!!!

    We love you!

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    1. Thanks Liz for your wit, humor, and more importantly the support. :) xo

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  2. Allyson,

    I promise you that I know almost exactly how you feel right now. December 23, 2009 was my March 7th. That day we found out John had cancer but we did not know exactly where. We found out on December 27th that he had Stage 4b base of tongue cancer. Today is March 8, 2012 and John is cancer free. He feels great. He looks great. He is working (he worked almost the whole way through rigorous treatment, cancer won't keep you from your dreams!), coaching our daughter's softball and singing in the church choir. I am listening to him breathe softly and quietly and peaceful while I type. Cancer is a journey and it kinda sucks but it is beatable and I can say for a fact that my family it STRONG as HELL for it. Everything happens in baby steps that if taken once at a time are doable. John always knew he would be okay and I can say with certainty in my heart right now that you are going to be okay too. In the meantime, this family is going to pray like crazy for you. I wish I could hug you now but know just know that you can do this. YOU CAN DO THIS. Love, Becah Butler

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    1. Becah,

      It's stories like this that bring me comfort and optimism. Thank you so much for sharing, and more importantly, thank you for the added support and love. Your words are beyond appreciated more than you know. It just makes me that much more determined to kick this thing in the "glutes". I just need to get over the fear of surgery. But for now, I'm taking one step at a time, one day at a time....and practicing patience more than ever.

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  3. You'll get through this. Unfortunately I know a little over 10 women in my family that have gotten cancer, but on the bright side they are all currently cancer free. The medicine and treatments have come a long way since back in the day. I did a lot of research when my mom got it and I realized everything I thought I knew (and pretty much everyone else) was based on info from like the 70s. You're young, healthy and live in the year 2012. The major common thread with all the cancer survivors I know is they remained positive and didn't give up. If you ever want to talk to any of them, let me know.

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  4. Thank you, Chuck for sharing your comforting story! It is more than appreciated. I'm too much of a stubborn person to let something like this get in the way of my life, but the most difficult thing is being away from 3 people that mean the world to me. My parents and brother. I need you and Tiffany to be there for them, especially my brother, more than he has ever needed you guys. I definitely have a different view on life now. I'm really understanding and practicing the saying "don't sweat the small stuff" more than I ever have in my life. It's time to smell the roses. :)

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  5. Breast cancer is tough, but YOU ARE TOUGHER! While you're undergoing treatment, just remember there are people in TX who love you - and I'm one of them. Cancer may change your body but not your mind or spirit! Stay strong! Stay optimistic! And know that whenever you need me I am here!

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    1. Thank you Tiffany for the supportive words. It is comforting knowing I have so much support and positivity coming my way. Thanks again!

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