Saturday, December 22, 2012

Tears of Joy

"Welcome 2012!" When I look back at this very first post of 2012, a mixture of emotions and thoughts fill my heart and mind. It's crazy how your life can completely change course in the blink of an eye. It definitely is not the course I had visioned for myself, but this just shows you can never plan out your life the way you want it. You just have to let go, have faith and trust in Him.

Five surgeries later, I am finally DONE and couldn't be any more relieved. I had my "swap out" this past Thursday and everything went as smoothly as could be expected. I know I've said this a million times in previous posts, but I couldn't be more grateful for my team of superhero doctors at Breastlink. Words cannot express how thankful I am of their skill and talent. I was told this surgery would be less painful than last surgery. I didn't experience much pain with the mastectomy, so I wasn't the least bit nervous going into the surgery. I figured I've already been through the worst of it, so this should be a walk in the park. When I woke up from the anesthesia, tears began to flow from my eyes. Concerned, the nurse asked if I was in pain. I shook my head no and said I was just happy to finally be done with everything. They are tears of relief and joy. Apparently the anesthesia can make you emotional, but I hadn't experienced that before, so I know in my heart it wasn't that. I was truly grateful to be done and beginning 2013 healthy! I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas gift than the gift of a healthy, cancer-free body.

I went in for my post-op appointment yesterday morning and saw my "new healthy boobs" for the first time. Again, emotions ran all through my body: excitement, gratefulness, relief, victorious, love, and well it's hard to explain. Until you've lost something that defines you as a woman, then to see it back on your body....I can't find the right words to express the powerful and emotional feeling that ran through me. The best part is the scars are minimal! It's amazing! My plastic surgeon is a true artist in what he does and I couldn't be any more pleased with the way everything turned out. Of course, any one who really knows me, knows how proud I am of any "victory scars". Whether it be from all the surgeries or from a torturous WOD at CrossFit. They each have a story behind them that represents a hard battle fought and won. :) I can finally close this chapter and begin the next with a new sense of appreciation and gratefulness. Tears of joy and relief!

That's all the energy I can muster out for today. Although I haven't experienced much pain, my body is still pretty sore and in recovery mode making me easily tired. Much love to each and every one of you for the love, prayers and positive vibes. I hope you all have a Joyful Holiday filled with love, laughter and good health. Here's to a happy and healthy 2013! Cheers!


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