And the Journey Continues

I know I haven't written a blog in a while, so I only thought it appropriate to write one on the day of my 1 year Anniversary of being cancer free. It's hard to believe it was just a year ago today that I let go of something that defines me as a woman. For some reason, I've had butterflies and nervousness in my stomach leading up to this day. Not exactly sure why. Maybe it's all the emotions hanging so close to the surface. Maybe it's the effects of my body going through trauma. Or maybe it's the shear fact this is a really big feat in a person's life. Maybe it's a combination of these things. Whatever the reason, I am happy to be here right now, writing about my experience. So, without further ado, here is the latest update on me....

Just when you think you've almost reached the end of a long journey, you stumble upon a fork in the road. Either way you go will get you to the same destination, however one way will take a little more patience. Both ways have pros and cons, but it all comes down to confidence and satisfaction.

Let me start off by saying this, I realize and understand my body will never be what it use to be. I am quite ok with that, because it's free of cancer! I'm the healthiest and fittest I have been since...well, I would say ever. I can honestly say I love my body and all its flaws. I owe such confidence to a few factors but mostly to crossfit and diet. But what it all boils down to is what makes me feel "normal".

If you have been following my blog from day 1, then you know I went through the nipple sparing process to save my nipples. I had a slight detour with the healing process, thus losing a little of the areola on one side and a little discoloration on the other side. Fortunately, there are these amazing people who tattoo these things on your boobs (cool, huh?). To jump a little a head of the story, I had the first of the tattoo process done. During that office visit, I learned of a new breast implant that has me hopeful.

While I am forever grateful I at least have breasts again, I am not 100% satisfied in my appearance in lets say a bathing suit or tank top, etc. While my plastic surgeon says I look really good, there are a couple areas of concern that involve rippling and hollowness....which have been my own concerns over the healing process. This comes with not having any breast tissue (obviously) and minimal skin and fat in those areas. To me, I feel my breast look like 2 big grapefruits because the implants are so round. I recently had my 6 month check up to look at my progress and go over options. I am quite excited to learn more about this new implant, as it will minimize some of the problem areas and, more importantly, make me feel as close to "normal" as possible. I'm not the greatest at painting a good picture of what I am talking about, so to save time, I've included a diagram to the right. It's pretty straight forward as you can see. :)

So my journey continues. I'm a pro with surgery and recovery now with 4 surgeries in a matter of 6 months, so what's one more to add to the books. August 1st seems to be the day for my next surgery. Oh, and since the procedure is less invasive, the recovery time will be even shorter! Score for me! I won't be out of my crossfit routine for long, which I am proud to say I can now finally lift (with my upper body) more than I weigh. Movements such as push-ups and bench press are still difficult, but I am still pleased with my progress. To put things in perspective, I roughly lost about 25 to 30% of my chest muscles on both sides. When you think of it that way, then it makes more sense why certain movements are very difficult. I realize I will never have my true chest strength again, but I am determined to get as much of it back as possible, even if it takes me a while. In the meantime, I will just be patient.

Now, on to a bit of reflection....

Determination and Progress

It was on this day 1 year ago when I had my first ever overnight stay in a hospital after the most invasive 8 hours plus of surgery in my life. I took the entire experience by the horns, letting go of not only something that defined me as a woman but leaving all traces of cancer in the surgery room. As I think back on that day, a flood of memories and emotions come to me. I remember waking up after surgery and having a slight panic attack from the tightness, not pain, I felt in my chest. I was expecting a worse feeling. Being in a fog the rest of the evening and nervous to look at my chest. Smiling because the surgery was over but still exhausted. Mumbling affirmations in my sleep throughout the night that I had no boobs but it was alright (so I was told by my mom and the nurses). Waking up the next morning at 4:00am waiting for breakfast because I was STARVING (this Texas girl can EAT!). The feeling and emotion I felt when I first saw the drains. And most of all, the feeling and emotions I felt when I first saw my chest. I can remember being relieved, but at the same time thinking "Whoa, this is actually real. I can't believe this just happened." It was a little bit of reality that was initially difficult to bite, but I quickly embraced it.

For the first time in a year, I finally gave myself time to really absorb everything I have been through. As a tear now rolls down my cheek, feeling emotional and triumphant, words cannot begin to express my gratitude for everything. I pray and thank the dear Lord every day for all my blessings, as I realize how lucky I am to have my health and a good support system. I am grateful I beat something that could have taken my life. I am grateful for the courage that God had given me to endure such a test. I am grateful for being CANCER FREE.  I have come so far mentally and physically from just a year ago. My faith, determination and the strong support system all aided in such growth. I still am a work in progress, but for now I am where I am suppose to be....and that's healthy and happy.

Here's to living a long life free of cancer...and maybe getting a little stronger along the way! :)

Cheers to Life!
Allyson

Tattoos

So it was one year ago today I became a passenger on one of life's wildest roller coaster rides. I seriously can't believe it's already been 1 year! Never in my wildest of dreams would I have ever expected my body, mind and spirit to go through what it did in just a year's time. As I write this blog, I look back to my calendar and schedule a year ago and wonder how I managed to get through everything. My life as I knew it then was quite crazy to say the least. Doctor's appointments, doctor's appointments and more doctor's appointments, then throw in work and keeping up with my exercise regime. As I reflect upon the person I was then vs. the person I am now, not only am I a stronger person but learned to have faith. I'm not going to lie, there were times when I questioned my faith due to sheer stress, but in the end it was faith that got me through everything. Making the transition from Texas to California almost 4 years ago was a huge leap of faith in and of itself, but some where along the journey I lost confidence in my faith. I couldn't exactly tell you when or why it happened, it just did. And I'm not sure why it takes a major life event for a person to realize such things. But this is what life is all about, right? Self-reflection and rediscovering one's inner self to become a better person inside and out.

Yes, I am fully aware of my physical strength and emotional strength. If 2012 was any indicator of that, then I definitely mastered that test. But a person needs more than strength to sustain life. The truth of the reality is, I somehow lost some of my confidence. One day it's here, the next they are gone. As I move forward in 2013, I am learning to conquer confidence in all aspects of my life and learning to love myself just a little more (flaws and all). I have faith I will get to where I want to be, but I understand it's a process and everything will fall in its place in due time. I am just grateful I am alive, grateful I am in good health, grateful I only had to fight half the battle of breast cancer, grateful for my determination to become a better person, grateful for my strong support system and most of all I am grateful for being me.

Over the year, I contemplated with getting a tattoo to mark my hard fought victory. Then I came upon the picture to the right and asked myself, "Do I really need a tattoo reminding me of what I went through?" Granite, I will be getting my first set of tattoos soon for cosmetic reasons, however it will be the finishing touches to my reconstruction surgery. In my opinion, a scar definitely represents so much more than a tattoo. They have more meaning and definitely a better story. Whether it be scars from CrossFit or scars from cancer, each  one represents an accomplishment coupled with a learning experience and personal growth. Who knows, I may get spontaneous one day. But for know, I am content with my battle wounds. :)

Speaking of scars, in one of my first posts after diagnosis, I posted a link to a very powerful, raw, and moving project displaying women of beauty and strength called The Scar Project. The artist does an amazing job capturing the emotional and physical strength of each woman (I have included a couple images to the right). When I first looked at the images a year ago, a mix of emotions overcame me, mostly fear and uncertainty. Fear of pain. Fear of losing something that defines me as a woman. Fear of the unknown. Fear of my body looking and feeling different. Fear of the process. At present, there is obviously no fear. Only a lack of confidence and self love. Not sure what I had expected and hoped for before getting my implants, but I was more comfortable in my own skin after the mastectomy than I am now. The only thing I can think of is that they are not my natural breasts. They look and feel different. Although, my surgeon (and nurses) say my case is one of the best they have dealt with. I look like a breast augmentation patient rather than a breast cancer patient. I need to get over the idea of them being implants and embrace my womanhood. Embrace myself.

After much contemplation, I decided to honor the anniversary of my diagnosis by sharing my version of tattoos. I've included some photos of my scars after 2 of my surgeries. I want to preface by apologizing if some of the images offend some of my readers, but it's truth and reality...and me. My hopes are that it helps ease the nerves of those newly diagnosed and facing a mastectomy. If you have a good team of surgeons, they can do wonders with minimize scarring and pain (which I didn't feel much). I still have numbness in these areas in addition to any area where my bra hits, including my lats.

Sentinel-node Biopsy (right side): 2 weeks post surgery, now. You can also see in the 2nd image where my drains were inserted. I had them on both sides.

 

Sentinel-node Biopsy (left side) : post surgery, 2 weeks post surgery, now.

 

And this would be 4 days post surgery without any saline in the expanders (Please disregard my aweful looking greasy hair. I wasn't allowed to wash my hair...which if you really know me then you understand how much it drove me nutts!!!!). Happy the scary part was over, over joyed my surgeon cleared the margins, proud of my battle wounds, and comfortable in my own skin. Scars that will be forever tattooed on my body. This is reality, but not something I let define me. I could easily hold a grudge on "March 7th", but instead I will embrace the day, be grateful I am alive and celebrate the beauty of life. I think the most important thing to keep in mind when faced with adversity is that it is only temporary and there is a lesson to be learned. This is what I took from the experience: Find your courage, laugh, acknowledge your support system (whether it be family, friends, support groups or therapy), laugh more, allow yourself to be vulnerable, and most important keep your faith, be grateful and keep living life. It is ok to show weakness and have others take care of you. It doesn't make you less of a person or mean your weak; it just means you are human. I am grateful for each and every person in my support system that made the past year a little easier to cope with. I will never forget March 7th, 2012, but I can now close this chapter in my life and begin the next...focusing on inner growth, love and my future nuptials. :)

One year after diagnosis...with new boobs & still going strong. :)

         XO,
         Allyson

   

 

The Fine Print

One thing's for sure, I am so glad to be done with everything related to breast cancer. For the most part, that is. I still see my oncologist every 3 months to make sure my body is doing well with the medication I have to be on for the next 5 years of my life. But aside from that, I am done with surgery. Done with healing. Done with weekly doctor's appointments. Done. I can now move forward in my life...kinda.

I feel like I was pretty prepared with every surgery and recovery period. As much as I could be anyway. But I do feel like there are some things that even the doctors can't prepare you for. Things that are learned  either through support groups with other breast cancer survivor or on your own. **I will admit, out of shear laziness, I haven't been to my support groups since the summer time. I enjoy the group and having that kind of support, but I have felt I'm in a much stable place emotionally.** Anyhow, back on topic... After my bi-lateral mastectomy the end of June, I had plenty of time for recovery before heading back to work. Boy, I had no idea trying to get back into a regular routine would be such a task. Granite, I do understand my best interests are being taken into consideration.

My plastic surgeon released me to go back to work, but with the restrictions of "light duty and no lifting over 40 pounds". Ummm, okay. Are you sure? I tried to explain to him the nature of my job, but it is difficult for people who are not around children with Autism and behavior problems to know exactly what it is like. To make a long story short, I went back to work on a Monday and was sent home Tuesday due to my restrictions. I mean, "light duty" and pre-school Autism kiddos don't exactly mesh well. So per the school district,  I am now on medical leave for another week until I am re-released from my doctor with "no restrictions". I am so grateful for working with a school district that is so accommodating and understanding, however, it would be nice to get on with life.

How are the new tatas you ask? Meh, they are silicone implants. I did not know what to expect or how I thought they would look. I mean, I know how the breasts of a normal female with implants look, but the implants on a breast cancer patient are a little different. We don't have breast tissue or fat (in my case) to add to the fullness of the implant, so they look just like how the implant looks (wide and round). I am so grateful I at least have breast again, but I have to get use to the look of them. I also still have quite a bit of scar tissue the surgeon was not able to release in surgery, which gives a little rippling effect. Not gonna lie, there are times when I feel a little unhappy because they don't look like my real breasts did. However, my daily boob stretches should help release the remaining scar tissue. I have to keep reminding myself I'm only 4 weeks out from surgery and everything will look better in a few months. And that, my friends are just a few things written in fine print in the handbook of a breast cancer survivor's journey.

I feel 2012 so far was the biggest test of faith, courage and strength for me. If I survived that, then I can definitely get through anything. In 2012, I accepted a new job, got engaged, was diagnosed and beat breast cancer within a matter of months, unearthed my true strength and self, started loving myself more and discovered my true friendships near and far. I am so grateful for everything 2012 brought me, but it's a new year. A new year, with a healthy cancer-free body. I couldn't ask for more right now. Thank you, Trevor, for always being there for me. We make the perfect team when life throws a curve ball. 

Welcome 2013! I look forward to getting to know you. :)

XO,
Allyson

Tears of Joy

"Welcome 2012!" When I look back at this very first post of 2012, a mixture of emotions and thoughts fill my heart and mind. It's crazy how your life can completely change course in the blink of an eye. It definitely is not the course I had visioned for myself, but this just shows you can never plan out your life the way you want it. You just have to let go, have faith and trust in Him.

Five surgeries later, I am finally DONE and couldn't be any more relieved. I had my "swap out" this past Thursday and everything went as smoothly as could be expected. I know I've said this a million times in previous posts, but I couldn't be more grateful for my team of superhero doctors at Breastlink. Words cannot express how thankful I am of their skill and talent. I was told this surgery would be less painful than last surgery. I didn't experience much pain with the mastectomy, so I wasn't the least bit nervous going into the surgery. I figured I've already been through the worst of it, so this should be a walk in the park. When I woke up from the anesthesia, tears began to flow from my eyes. Concerned, the nurse asked if I was in pain. I shook my head no and said I was just happy to finally be done with everything. They are tears of relief and joy. Apparently the anesthesia can make you emotional, but I hadn't experienced that before, so I know in my heart it wasn't that. I was truly grateful to be done and beginning 2013 healthy! I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas gift than the gift of a healthy, cancer-free body.

I went in for my post-op appointment yesterday morning and saw my "new healthy boobs" for the first time. Again, emotions ran all through my body: excitement, gratefulness, relief, victorious, love, and well it's hard to explain. Until you've lost something that defines you as a woman, then to see it back on your body....I can't find the right words to express the powerful and emotional feeling that ran through me. The best part is the scars are minimal! It's amazing! My plastic surgeon is a true artist in what he does and I couldn't be any more pleased with the way everything turned out. Of course, any one who really knows me, knows how proud I am of any "victory scars". Whether it be from all the surgeries or from a torturous WOD at CrossFit. They each have a story behind them that represents a hard battle fought and won. :) I can finally close this chapter and begin the next with a new sense of appreciation and gratefulness. Tears of joy and relief!

That's all the energy I can muster out for today. Although I haven't experienced much pain, my body is still pretty sore and in recovery mode making me easily tired. Much love to each and every one of you for the love, prayers and positive vibes. I hope you all have a Joyful Holiday filled with love, laughter and good health. Here's to a happy and healthy 2013! Cheers!


                                                               XO,
                                                                Ally

   

The End is Near

I couldn't have found a better quote to describe my life as it is. When I initially was diagnosed on March 7, 2012 my entire world as I knew it turned upside down. Looking back, I realized I was on a 4 month adrenaline rush stacked with doctor's appointments, support groups, work, more doctor's appointment and more doctor's appointments. Of course I could have easily locked myself in the bathroom to shut out the world, but you all know that's not my style (unless I was having a serious side effect from Tamoxifen ha!). I decided to let my faith carry me. Despite everything I have been through, nothing but good things have come from the experience. And for this I am filled with gratitude, love, and peace. The relationships most important to me have flourished, and I've moved pass the stale friendships. As a person, I feel I am finally living life and absorbing every little moment. I thank God everyday for not only giving me another chance at life but for my health mentally, physically and emotionally. The reality is, it's all coming to a bitter sweet end and I couldn't have planned it any better way.

I went back to work when the school year began September 4th, and I forgot how much I enjoyed my career. I can't believe October is half over and soon it will be Thanksgiving then Christmas, but I am enjoying each day as it comes. Although I was pretty tired the first couple of weeks getting back into the old routine, I soon overcame the struggle. My stamina and physical strength have exceeded my expectations over the past couple of months, and I couldn't be more satisfied of my progress. I am physically stronger than before surgery, although push-ups are still very tough for me. My stamina and endurance took a little longer, but with persistence and patience it has slowly returned. 

The end of September I decided to run in the Komen Race for The Cure 5K. I had not run that distance since the beginning of May. The days leading up to it I was only able to run 1 mile. It was a little frustrating, however I reset my thinking to "hey I just ran a mile!".  With this, my goal was to run at least the first 1.5 miles of the race without stopping. I am very proud to say I ran the ENTIRE race without stopping once....AND at a good pace too. :) The emotional moment of the day had to be the last 400 meters of the race. I came upon a fellow survivor that stopped running to walk. I decided to run beside her to motivate her to finish strong. We ran the last bit together, and she gave me the biggest hug when we crossed the finish line together and couldn't thank me enough. She had been 6 weeks out from surgery herself and dug deep to finish the way she did. Needless to say I was filled with gratitude, joy, and excitement.

Earlier that same week I accomplished yet another small defeat. If you have been following my blog, then you know about the CrossFit WOD Grace. I am very proud to say I completed the WOD as RXd! It may have been a little slow, but I finished all 30 clean and jerks at 95#. Another empowering moment added to this chapter. :)

As for the medical side of things, I am finally done with the expansion process. With a little patience, gratitude and positive thinking I was able to schedule the surgery when I had hoped. On December 20th, 2 days before my Christmas break, I will have the last part of my reconstruction surgery. The expanders will be taken out (thank goodness because they are as hard as oranges) and the implants will be put in place (Merry Christmas to me!). Very happy I won't be missing a lot of work! We will see how the recovery goes, but I am pretty optimistic it will be speedy.

The end is finally near and what a year 2012 has been, but I would not have changed a thing. I've learned a great deal from this entire experience and have met some pretty badass people a long the way. I am humbled by the continued support and encouragement from all my faithful cheerleaders. I am deeply grateful for all the prayers and positive vibes. I'm even more grateful for my wonderful Fiance! I never knew it possible to love a person more and more as each day passes. He has been at my side from day 1 and continues to be my #1 supporter. I thank God every day for leading me to him. I end my blog today with a few simple, yet important words of wisdom, that have become part of my life mantra....

Peace and Love,

Allyson

Peace, Love and Strength

"Really?! I am not shocked but very surprised. I knew you were in great shape before surgery, so I didn't have doubts you would recover quickly. But to be able to lift THAT much this soon is surprising considering all the muscle fibers that have been cut in your chest muscle. You are one of the very few exceptions. Why do I get the feelings you're pushing yourself too much?" Words per my plastic surgeon from my most recent appointment with him. I think it would be very fitting to insert the following words right about now....

Obviously I've been focused on myself emotionally and physically this past month. I believe I finally conquered the soul purpose and process of meditation, in addition to feeling grateful for everything in my life. As hippy as it sounds, my heart is happy, my mind at peace, and I feel filled with an abundance of love. I love this place happiness! It makes day to day life that much easier, however like any other normal person, I still have my moments where I am overly annoyed or just in a bad mood. I've worked really hard to to recognize these moments and turn my thoughts around the best way I can. Some days are a little more tough than others, but more often then not I don't let it continue to bring me down. Where did all this self-work come from you ask? Well a few sources actually! Of course books, meditation, exercise, time away from technological distractors, and other blogs written by warriors like myself. I would like to share one of the blogs I've been following religiously. Fiercely Happy is sincerely written straight from the heart.

On to the nit-and-gritty of my speedy recovery. My oncologist put me on a different hormone medication called Fareston. While it is way more pricer than Tamoxifen, it is so much more compatible with this young body of mine. No, I don't have any of the emotional cookiness that occurred with Tamoxifen. (YAY!) In fact I don't have any of the side effects I experienced with Tamoxifen, except an occasional hot flash....but even those are not as severe. If my body does well, there is a possibility of me being on it for only 2-3 years as opposed to 5 years. As for my expansions, they were going smoothly until my most recent visit which caused quite a bit of discomfort and a little pain due to overly stretching the muscle and skin. The discomfort and pain resided in less than 24 hours, so it was nothing I could not handle. That is that and there isn't much else to say in regards to my doctor visits.

To answer the question my doctor asked, NO! Despite what many may believe and think, I actually listened to my body. I do, however, get a little frustrated at times during my workout. This is only because I cannot figure out why certain movements are more painful than others. It makes no sense that I can easily perform all the olympic lifts that involve the bar going overhead or using quite a bit of upper body strength, however, it is quite difficult to hang from the bar. Like, really?! Just hanging from the bar?! Obviously I have listened to my body and avoid anything "hanging from the bar" for now until I am more healed. The one thing I've learned from the healing process of my first surgery is, the body has a mind of its own and sometimes there is no logical reasoning behind certain things (words from my surgeon and plastic surgeon that I have carried with me). Which leads into my next point, most patients do not recover full strength for several months to a year post surgery. In fact, the end of July my plastic surgeon told me not to count on regaining my full strength until probably the Spring time. Little did he know who he was talking to. I have recovered almost ALL of my strength and then some since June 21. Patience, persistence and being grateful have been the magic formula for me. The photo bellow was taken earlier this week and it happens to be the exact weight I performed prior to surgery (tooting my own horn right now!).

105# Overhead Squat

In addition to all this progress, I went back to work this past Tuesday. While it was a little difficult to wake up to an alarm the first day, I quickly was back into the swing of things by the second day. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed my job and how fun it is without the whirlwind stress of missing so much work due to all the doctors appointments that accumulated last semester. I guess I can look at it as a blessing in disguise because this whole experience has opened up more than my eyes. I am more grateful now for my health (mentally and physically) than I have ever been.

I leave today's blog with one more image that I'm sure some of you will appreciate while others may cringe. It's officially football season, so what else would you expect from me?! :)

XO,

Allyson

The Recovery Phase: Resilient Warrior

I'm not exactly sure how to begin today's blog except with the fact that Life is GOOD. I know many of my readers expressed their concerns after my previous post, which was some time ago, but you can rest assure knowing I survived the downward spiral (obviously). I was resilient enough to power through a very difficult part of this journey, and I couldn't have done it without such a strong support network sprinkled with some strong self-determination. In the very beginning of this journey, I notoriously said nothing but positivity was going to come out of this entire experience. Despite the valleys along the way, I still stand firm in that belief.

I took advantage of this time of turbulence, turned off technology for one entire day and did a little soul searching. We all get caught up in the daily hustle-and-bustle of what we call "life" outside of work: cell phones, internet, TV, kindle, texting, facebook, movies, pinterest, gossiping, etc. I am very grateful for such luxuries, because each allows me to enjoy mindless activities. But that's all they are, MINDLESS. I spent time with myself, my thoughts, my feelings all the while embracing life's beauty. I went to the bookstore to buy a book instead of uploading it to my kindle. I then decided to sit outside with a cup of tea and my book. There were times I would just sit there, close my eyes to take in the different sounds, smells, and warmth around me. I began to realize how such little things in life are so often taken for granted, then I opened my new book to read the first quote. [ Let me preface that while I am a believer in God and a spiritual person, I do not intend to push my faith or beliefs upon anyone. I am simply stating quotes from various religions and sources that have inspired and aided in my recent soul searching. So, take what you want from it. ]

"Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him."

~ Gospel of Matthew in the Holy Scriptures

Wow. It's talking about the golden thread of gratitude. If you're grateful, you will be given more, and you will have an abundance. It ties in with my life mantra of everything happens for a reason. After reading on, I soon realized the difference between being grateful and actually feeling grateful. Of course there have been times when saying the words thank you are just routine and being polite, but to actually feel the words from deep within is something that comes with actually believing your words. This book has 26 daily lessons to help you with feeling grateful, so I took it upon myself to give it a try. Each day I have written down 10 things I am grateful for and why. At first it was a little tough to believe my words, but with persistence, I began to feel the gratitude. It's a very invigorating experience to say the least. So during my time of dismay, I wrote down 10 things to be grateful for and really practiced meditating on each one. Soon the tears flowed and my heart was heavy, as I realized I was truly grateful. I am now on day 23 and have noticed a much happier and peaceful place in my heart. My faith and beliefs have now been restored thanks to persistence and self-determination.

"Reflect upon your present blessings of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes of which all men have some."

~ Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

Now, in response to "what the heck happened?" from my last post. As it turns out, I am not a crazy depressed person. Thank goodness! After setting up an appointment with my oncologist, it was in fact side effects from the Tamoxifen. Only 10% premenopausal have severe side effects, and well naturally I would fall in that percentage. Within 24 hours of being off the estrogen blocker, I was back to my old optimistic self. I'm now on a different medication, so we will see how my body reacts to this. I am so thankful to have an oncologist that listens to my concerns and is willing to try other options. Often doctors want you to stick with it despite how it affects your quality of life. Updates on this soon to follow...

CrossFit Battle Wound :)

As for the reconstruction side, things are coming along smoothly. I have about 1 more expansion to go before I will be back to my natural size. August 1st I started back to CrossFit and it has been a very motivating. At this point, I know my mind is resilient but was not too sure about my body. My first 3 days were beyond tough, as I had obviously not run or lifted anything over 5 pounds in 6 weeks. I scaled back my workouts to my ability, however I soon realized the effects of muscle memory. Although I am not at full strength, I am a lot further along than I had initially expected to be at this point in recovery. Heck, I may even be able to do the Rx weight of 95# (I'm already at 60#) for Amazing Grace come October in support of Barbells for Boobs. I know, I know...I won't push myself too much though. ;-) On weeks I have expansion, I do have to take it easy as the origin of my pectoralis muscles are pretty stretched and a little sore which limits some of my range of motion on certain exercises. I am so thankful for not only being physically tough but mentally tough as this plays the most important role during recovery. I am a resilient warrior.

So my life is somewhat getting back to normal, and I am finally able to enjoy what's left of summer. While I have endured such a trying time, I am grateful for the experience as it has made a better person of me in the process. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the love and continued support. Big virtual HUG to each of you! I leave you all with one last inspiring quote:

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each one of us has a cause to think within deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us."

                                  ~ Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965)

                                                        Nobel Peace Prize -Winning Medical Missionary & Philosopher.

XO,
Allyson